Narcissus

水仙

Author: Eunice Lam 林燕妮 @ nextb@nextmedia.com

Source: “Next Weekly壹週刊” Magazine; Column entitled “The past events were like real 往事如真”, Issue #874, December 2006

Downloaded from http://forum.lesliecheung.cc/guestbook/show.asp?id=67996 (posted on December 7, 2006 at 05:32:45)

Translated by Daydreamer on December 8, 2006

I like to describe Leslie Cheung this way: he was narcissistic, yet did not know how to protect himself, he would not harm anyone either. Having been in the entertainment world for so many years, he still was so very pure.

As an actor, how could it be possible that he did not know how to pretend? Yet he did not like to do that.

He got hurt easily. I lived in Po Shan Road for exactly eight years and many people had been to my place. I asked Leslie, “How come you never come to my house?”. He said in English, “I haven't been invited.” I really was careless. Having known him for so long, yet I forgot to invite him to my place. He did mind.

He was very considerate to others. Tiny things like ‘you haven't invited me, therefore I would not come’. Just like at the time when he was not popular, while the singer who received an award was celebrating, he merely sat at a dark corner quietly weeping, without making a noise or complaint. He did not want to disturb others.

That year, actually he should get an award; “Wind Continues To Blow” was such a good song. We later discovered that he was quietly wiping his tears, so we all encouraged him and said, “You will definitely be popular next year”. It came true, the following year, he became very popular and was getting more and more popular. He was tie with Alan Tam in popularity. This lasted for more than seven years.

At the beginning, when Leslie sang, he had the problem of “bilingual punning 食字”, i.e. he only sang half of the word while the second half could not be heard of, thus it was not clear enough for people to hear it. After he was being commented on, that trouble was gone.

His voice is not a perfect one, but that is not important. The important thing is his “Wing Hon 榮腔 [Wing's voice]” is different from others. When you listened to the songs, you could easily identify that it was Leslie who sang them. It’s full of taste. Surprisingly, he grew up in Hong Kong, yet his Cantonese has a noble Guangzhou Xi Guan 廣州西關 accent in it.

He was talented in languages and was good in both English and Mandarin. Once, I said “Dai Wan 大腕” and used the third intonation for “Wan”, he immediately told me that I should use the first intonation to pronounce it.

His frankness was very sweet. Once, I had afternoon tea with him at the Peninsula Hotel. I was smoking a cigarette. He said, “May I ask you not to smoke in my capacity as an anti-smoking ambassador? The Government has asked me to be the anti-smoking ambassador.” I said, “No.” That made him speechless, so he just let me smoke.

I was assigned by a weekly magazine to interview him, we talked for a long time and suddenly, he said, “I have to be away for ten minutes.” I asked him, “What happens?”. He said softly, “To stool.”

Once at my birthday party organized by my little brother, Leslie gave me a watch as a gift. He said, “As promised [in English].” I have totally forgotten about it. It happened that one day he wore a watch of that style, I saw it and told him that it was really nice, and he put that in his heart.

That night, Lau Tat Chi 鄧達智 came without being invited. It did not matter since he was a friend anyway. Lau wanted to take a picture with Leslie and Leslie did not refuse to do so. That night, Leslie had not put on a tiny bit of air. He voluntarily talked and laughed with the other guests making everyone very happy.

Afterwards, he told me, “As soon as I saw Lau Tat Chi arrived, I almost wanted to leave. He stepped on me for wearing Jean-Paul Gaultier's old costumes at my concerts. If not for you, I would not take a picture with him!”

I had scolded Lau Tat Chi in an article that I wrote for the newspaper a long time ago. Leslie did not ask me to do so, just that I wanted to make a heroic deed of voicing my disagreement on the injustice comments made. I would comment on the issue no matter I knew that individual or not. Besides, my understanding and knowledge of fashion is far more better than many people.

If a survey is to be conducted to pick your most favourite female writer, I definitely will not be the one. Without any public relationship, no apple-polish and no connection, how can I be the one? It is not that I don’t know how to play the game, just that life is a short one and I don't have time to lie. And because of this, I like Leslie.

Before he immigrated, he wanted to move to another house. I had seen a good location in the mid-level with a 360 degree sea view, but it was extremely expensive. I took Leslie there to show him. After he looked around, he said to me, “You've thought too highly of me.” i.e. he could not afford it. He would not criticize this or that to make you feel that he could afford it but just that the place was not good enough.

At that time, he lived in Repulse Bay. He took us to his bedroom and very dreamily said, “Every night when I sleep I would listen to these few songs of mine.” Then he played them and asked us, “Very sexy, isn't it? Yes, is that right?”

In 1986, “A Better Tomorrow” was screened at the mid-night show. At that time, the theatres were all big ones. We would sit at the balcony floor while the general audience would sit on the ground floor. Mid-night shows were the best way to test the reaction of the audience.

Ti Lu played Leslie's bigger brother. Although he was a gangster, he was happy that his brother became a police officer. The two brothers were on opposite sides. Chow Yun-Fat, another role in the movie played Ti Lu's gangster partner.

Leslie sat beside me and said, “Darn it, the audience loves Chow very much but I was the police officer who had to arrest Chow Yun-Fat and my brother, no one would like it.”

But every time when he saw himself appearing on the big screen, he would clap his hands happily. I asked him, “Why did you clap your hands every time when you saw yourself?” He said naively, “If I do not clap first, who will? I have to lead them to do so.” Really, when the audience heard the clapping sound coming from upstairs, they followed suit.

“A Better Tomorrow” immediately became the leader in the box office, but the most important thing is it became the representative of Hong Kong motion pictures as well as a classic, drawing the attention of Hollywood.

In “A Better Tomorrow 2”, Leslie had a heavier role. As if he had won the lottery, he said, “This time, people will sympathize with me. Look at how well I have acted! When my wife was pregnant I was shot to death.” This type of person becomes extinct after Leslie's demise.

He was very thoughtful to others. Once, a friend of us held a birthday party but did not invite Anita Mui. Anita was upset and dropped by after the dinner was over. As soon as she arrived, she started to cry. Jacky Cheung Kok-yau did not get himself involved. Everyone knew that Anita was here to make trouble, no one wanted to turn a blind eye on her. Only Leslie drew her to his bosom letting her shed her tears on his new leather jacket. With tears that mixed with her make-up, half of his jacket was wet and it likely had to be written off.

No wonder why at Leslie's funeral, Anita had been crying like she'd never cried before.

All's gone, everything is gone. Narcissus, how are you? Fine? Then, never come back again.