Source: National University of Defense Technology Alumni Website
Translated by Daydreamer on February 28, 2006
Today is April 1st and it also marks the second anniversary of Leslie’s death. I have never thought that the fans of Leslie would still so fondly and sentimentally cherish the memory of him. It is as if only after his passing away that his true value becomes absolute. Not only fans from all over the world held different kinds of activities to commemorate him, even various big Chinese media websites, such as SINA, TOM, SOHU, have established special columns to recollect Leslie’s lifetime achievements. This did not happen to Anita Mui, nor to Roman Tam. Why?
It has already been two years now. For me who have had the predestined opportunity to work with Leslie should write something.
I remembered two year ago today in the morning, I rushed back to work. The other reporters from the News Department still had not showed up as yet. The office was empty except for myself. I was putting on make-up in preparation for the airing of a program. At that time, a young boy from the music section of our television station came in. In a very tranquil voice, he softly told me that: “Leslie Cheung has committed suicide.”
“Who?” I thought I had not been listening clearly.
“Leslie Cheung.” That young boy spoke gently as if trying to observe my expression.
“Oh? But why?”
That young boy shrugged his shoulders, but did not reply.
“How did that happen?” I asked.
“He jumped to his death.” That young boy paused for a second and said, “If you don’t believe, you may surf the internet. The news is all over the place.”
“I don’t believe.” I replied firmly. After saying that, I turned around and immediately rushed into the main control room of our television station.
The main control room is responsible for the side recording of the real-time news of China, Taiwan and Hong Kong. After the clips are being slightly edited and reorganized, they will be broadcast in the North America area. We can therefore watch the first hand news without any delay.
I asked the attendant to reload the side-record tapes of that day wishing to have a look at the news about Leslie. The attendant pouted and pointed at the big platoon of monitoring device. I was startled that the big platoon of televisions was all broadcasting the identical piece of news. A very striking title – “Leslie Cheung has committed suicide”. Since the news just came out and many details had not been fully revealed, therefore the camera just remained there focusing on the spot where the accident took place, and kept on re-running the big splash of blood left behind by Leslie at the spot where he fell. I could not believe my own eyes nor my ears. Could that big splash of blood really belongs to him?
I felt extremely sad.
Afterwards the Los Angeles local broadcasting station interviewed me and asked me about my feeling towards Leslie as well as my evaluation of him. I told them that:
If I have to use a term to describe him, then Leslie is the rare beauty of the world.
He is transcendental and asexual.
He may love men and he may love women.
Men may love him, and so may women.
What does he represent?
He represents gorgeous beauty, daintiness and charm, despair and grief…. and many many more. We can find them all in him.
His death no doubt causes us a lot of sorrow but choosing to end his life this way, by diving down to death, seems to be the most perfect full stop for his legendary life. This kind of death completes his elegant demeanor as a superstar. Superstar is always like this, isn’t that so? Elvis Presley, Marilyn Monroe, Teresa Teng, Princess Diana …. The death of all these superstars often makes people feel sorry and heartbroken.
Leslie and I worked together in late 1994. At that time, I was shooting my first TV series “Under the Roof in Big Shanghai” directed by Xie Jin (謝晉). At that same time, I was also chosen by Chen Kaige to play the role of Mrs. Lau, a wealthy woman, in his movie “Temptress Moon”. In that movie, Leslie Cheung and Gong Li were the leading characters. In the drama team at that time, Zhou Xun (周迅 now a very popular actress), who hadn’t got the fame as yet, played a role similar to mine. My role in the movie was a simple one and was played against Leslie only. I played the role of Mrs. Lau, a lonely wealthy woman with high society standing, and Leslie’s role was a swindler controlled by some gangsters in Shanghai who used him to seduce rich wives and women in order to beguile them of their money. They called this group of gangsters “Ji-Bai-Dang吃白黨”.
The first time when I saw Leslie, I felt that he was very lean and fragile, and full of the air of intellectual. He was very quiet, so quiet that you would not even notice his existence. After his part was shot, he would always sit in a quiet corner by himself smoking, and would study the dialogues of his upcoming scenes. I felt that the way he smoked was like an immortal, entirely unreal and illusory, as if swinging far away in the middle of the air, making you scared of getting too close to him; rather you would only stay in one side and look at him from a distance. Sometimes he would take the initiative to talk to you, asking you some questions softly and precisely. For instance, he told me that I might stroke his hair and it did not matter if his hair was messed up.
The deepest impression he gave me is that once we were all having our meal, he however did not eat, instead he repeatedly ran up and down the stairs on the set for more than twenty times, making a noise of “tung” “tung” “tung”. It was because in the next scene, he would be filmed to be entering into the guesthouse running up the stairs. He was making good use of that time to practise while everyone else was having his/her meal. A big star like him treated his job so seriously certainly is something that we, junior actors, should learn.
The scene that Leslie and I were playing was one with intensive emotion and passion. Before it was shot, I was worried that I would get overly excited. But once we started shooting it, my worry was quite unnecessary. Leslie was very very caring and patient. Something worth mentioning is that there was a close-up shot in the movie of my return look. Leslie was not required to take part in that shot so he could take a rest. A staff was arranged by the director Chen Kaige to take Leslie’s place so that he might give me a guideline to draw my visual attention. But since that staff was only there giving me a visual line of sight, he therefore simply stood there with a poker face. When I turned my head to look at him and was full of deep affection, I felt that I was making an expression towards a piece of wood. I was not satisfied with that shot, and was getting ready to have a second try. Leslie pushed that staff away and said, “Let me do it”. When I turned my head that second time and caught Leslie’s affectionate gaze full of a plaintive expression, it was like an awakening to me and I immediately got the signal that my opponent was trying to give me. An international superstar who treated every scene with seriousness, and respected and coordinated with his opponents so earnestly, I could only use one word to describe him, which is “professionalism”.
Leslie has already gone, however, every time when I listen to his song or look at his performance, I feel that he is still living in this world, dancing and singing gracefully in some corner on earth.
Written by Huang Lo on April 1, 2005 in Los Angeles
Thank you so much for translating such an interesting selection of articles. I read them all and found they helped to build up a picture of how special Leslie was, but I particularly liked this one.
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